News from Children's Center for Self-Esteem (The ARKGROUP)

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The ARKGroup (Adults Relating to Kids)

formerly The Children's Center for Self-Esteem

ARK 'N ACTION August 2008

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in this issue

-- Evidence Based Parenting - Science is Proving What Many of You Have Known All Along.

-- The Olympics - A World to Take Pride In

-- How Would you spend $10 Billion - to Best Benefit the World

-- Consider These Gift Opportunities

As I drove past the elementary, middle and high schools this week, I was thrillled by all of the activity of the teachers, teacher's aids, administrative staff and "get ready" staff at each school. I was not the only one. At our neighborhood elementary, several boys and girls were excited with the buzz of activity and told me they could not wait for the school bells to ring. At the secondary schools, young men and women were activitly engaged with back to school sports, band and other activities. As I reflected on the drive on to work. "What a wonderful country we live in". How exciting and fortunate we are to have youngsters in our midst. This renewal of learning, renews us all to be better persons and to get engaged once again with the joy of young lives and the opportunity to make a difference in the future of our great nation.
Thank you Teachers, volunteers and parents for your commitment to our neighborhood families and children.

Please share our website with your friends and colleagues - - The ARKGROUP's WEB site can assist you now to get to the information you need. The ARKGROUP's website provides the information that you need , about the ARK (Adults Relating to Kids) Programs and Processes for Teachers and Schools, Parents and Others who would be Intentional in the lives of Kids, both faith based and secular. Visit our site today. ARK (Adults Relating to Kids) programs and processes are here to help.

Thank you for including our thoughts and comments in your lives this "beginning of school" period of our year through our newsletter.
I look to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King this month as we look at his challenging words to us all: "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter"

Bill
William R. Duffy
National Executive Director
281-537-1301

Start these fall months to commit to renewal and growth with education and networking facilitated by the ARK Program DVDs: ARK for Teachers, ARK for Parents (Faith and Secular based), ARK Facilitator Training, The ARK Group Process and an Introduction to ARK hosted by Pat Summerall. Order yours today at www.thearkgroup.org. The ARK Program has excellent lessons, DVD's, manuals, workbooks, texts and advertising materials -- they will equip you to begin ARK programs today. ARK programs provide breakthrough parenting and teaching "skills courses." With your help, we can make ARKrelationships the norm for the 21st century family, church, school and community.

For our Friends and Followers , we have had outstanding record breaking participation through August with over 220 churches in the Dallas and Houston areas participating in our ARK for Parents - Church Programs . Facilitation training can be scheduled to fit your schedule. Thanks to a wonderful gifts by kind benefactors, we are able to provide ARK for Parents Programs to Dallas area churches and in Houston. The program includes facilitator training, lessons on DVDs, books, and a host of supporting materials and services. We invite you to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Contact us today by e-mail, letter or by telephone in Dallas at 817- 268-2100 or Houston at 281-537-1301 to reserve these programs for your church to enable your church family to become the parents and intentional adults in the lives of children that will change the world through your care

Evidence Based Parenting - Science is Proving What Many of You Have Known All Along.

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My thanks to U.S. News and World Report, June 30, 2008, Volume 144, Number 28 and Nancy Shute for the following insightful views. Each day, parents everywhere wonder about their impact on children, their own and others, as they go about the most difficult job in the world...."caring and loving their children's in their daily steps into adulthood.

Researchers and The ARKGROUP have spent decades studying what motivates children and can now say with a great deal of confidence what discipline methods can help and what one's provide little impact. Evidence based parenting from the work of Dr. Alan Kazdin at Yale Parenting Center and the work of The ARKGROUP, Houston, Texas, both have shown that: "screaming and shouting at children" will have little lasting impact on their behavior and character.

Kids tune out reasoning and shouting equally

Praise of the end result is often viewed with skepticism, while encouragement of their effort builds self- confidence to try without fear of failure

Spanking and other harsh punishments do stop bad behavior but only temporarily. Punishment works only if it is mild. Positive reinforcement of good behaviors wins out for teaching children behavioral character.

Most parenting books still focus on eradicating bad behavior. At the ARKGROUP and in the studies conducted at Yale, empathy for other people leads the list of qualities that people need to successfully handle relationships at school, at work and in the family. Adults need to understand that children need to be encouraged and taught though example that their behavior is their responsibility and impacts how other children interact with them.

At the ARKGROUP, we encourage parents and other intentional adults to focus on asking open ended questions, to encourage all efforts that result in imaginative ideas and creativity. Children need to be allowed to wrestle with problems and to experience delayed gratification... and to have fun with their time.

Examples of Parenting experiences children need to have regularly reinforced by their parents include:

Setting limits on your child or students behavior. Evidence shows that a child without limits believes the parents do not care enough to focus on them. Children who do not have limits have been shown in studies to be more defiant and rebellious. They feel unsafe and push to see if parents will respond.
Another teacher and parent behavior that can have consequences is "Being OverProtective"
Micromanaging everything from playground activities, homework and baseball team positions can also cause issues. Dr. Robert Brooks, a clinical psychologists in Needham, Mass., and a co-author of "Raising Resilient Children" comments. "Many well meaning parents jump in to quickly. Resilient children realize that sometimes they fail, make mistakes and have set backs. We have to be with the children as intentional adults who allow them to learn from their mistakes, while knowing they are loved unconditionally.
Other actions by parents that have been shown to have limited impact on children's behavioral growth include: nagging and lecturing; praising to much and badly versus the giving of encouraging comments; punishing to harshly; failure to be honest with your students and children about how you feel about their actions; placing grades and SATS ahead of creativity; and not taking the time each day to have fun with their kids and students.

A closing thought: As you have breakfast or dinner with your kids today, or open the days classroom activities begin those times and end them with those signs of care and laughter that will become their connections to you in their lives.

We would like to hear your thoughts.

Write to us:

The Olympics - A World to Take Pride In

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I hope that you enjoyed watching the 2008 Olympics as much as my family these past few weeks. Young people from Australia to Zimbabwe put forth their hearts and athletic skills and made us all proud to be citizens in this world. We have a bold spirit of accepting challenges in each of us and it was exciting to witness in the Beijing games.

As we reflect on those champions ,everyone who participated as shown in their determination and efforts over the past many years to train for their opportunity, we are all lifted. Our small space of existence is expanded by their actions and made connected to that spirit of joy and accomplishment with each participant in their respective event. I trust you have received the energies of their efforts in your own lives.

In each of you, their resides the wonder of a vast life.

Emily Dickinson's many poems hold this possibility out to us in her writings. Here is one that has always been my favorite and I hope it will refresh you as we begin this new school year.

"This is My Letter to the World"

This is my letter to the World
That never wrote to Me --
The simple news that Nature told--
With tender Majesty

Her Message is committed
To Hands I cannot see--
For love of Her - Sweet - countrymen--
Judge tenderly - of Me

We all have power to imagine the better. Ms. Dickinson reveals her insecurity about releasing the product of her creative energies out into the world, the gamble inherent in committing the "Message of her works to "Hands" she cannot see." She encapsulates the anxiety of every student and child who has ever entered the first day of school for the new year.

We are so privileged to take part in the growth and learning of our children and of our neighbors children. As we enter those first moments of the new school year, we can care for those moments of anxiety connected to the new experiences in those fresh and exciting early morning days of school.

Please share your ideas and read on...

How Would you spend $10 Billion - to Best Benefit the World

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My thanks to Bjorn Lomberg, director of the Copenhagen Consensus. For more information, please visit www.copenhagenconsensus.com

If you had a spare $10 Billion over the next year, how would you spend it to get the most for humanity. We at the ARKGROUP would like to have your suggestions, so please e-mail us at wduffyark@thearkgroup.org.
The Copenhagen Consensus has tackled their answer by bringing together the great Economists and Thinkers from around the world and directed their ideas to solutions that provide the greatest utility return from the investments.

In a very, very high level summary, they comment on several broad areas with the following high level thoughts and economics:

Transnational terrorism - in essence they point out that about 105 lives a year could be saved which compares unfavorably to the 30 thousand lives being lost on our nations highways for example. They would not recommend expenditures here.
Climate Change - They see spending money on research and development to generate $11 for each $1 investment as a better payout than spending dollars on alternatives and emission controls
Disease - each dollar spent on ensuring people are healthier generates over $20 in benefits. A good thing to do.
Hunger - Improved nutrition projects could generate significant benefits compared to the others in the sustainment of life.

The on-going project in Copenhagen is certainly providing a fresh look at where you and I could be putting our dollars and efforts as we encourage our children to invest their lives in making the world a better place.
Finding the cost effective ways to tackle the world's problems is no simple challenge.
I would suggest that it is complex and probably should not be left to the economists alone. This challenge of tomorrow needs your best efforts and contributions.

As you dream, think and "imagine a better world", don't you tagree that we could all participate in actions that include the very best that is in all of us.

Document your actions and share it with us, so we can share with others.

Check out the details of the Copenhagen Consensus and share it with your Students and Children

Consider These Gift Opportunities

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Consider These 2008 Gift Opportunities. Become a program sponsor by funding an ARK for Teachers Program in School Districts: Electronic Packages for $950. Funding an ARK for Parents Program in Schools, Community Centers, Churches, Neighborhood Centers, Sunday Schools, Youth Centers: Facilitator Training Programs for $500. Purchasing individual manuals for $25 each to support organizations who need materials. Purchasing ARK for Kids or Teens workbooks for $25 each for deserving kids' networks.

Your support of The ARKGroup, Inc. creates possibilities in our churches, community centers, and public and private schools. If you have an opportunity, idea, challenge, or destiny to fulfill through helping children to grow into their full potential, please contact us. Together we can improve the quality of life in our communities--one child, one family, one classroom, one school at a time. Helping other people lifts one's spirits and gives hope for the future.

GoodSearch - a way to support ARK while using the Internet. You can contribute to the ARKGROUP which we will invest in your favorite community services, church, juvenile justice program or school just by searching the Internet or shopping online with GoodSearch - www.goodsearch.com - powered by Yahoo!

Read on at the ARK website

Contact Information

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email: wduffyark@sbcglobal.net

phone: 281-537-1301

web: http://www.thearkgroup.org

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