As I looked at the calendar this morning, I was shocked to see that the summer is over half gone for our teachers and children. August will bring a splash of activities as our Nations schools and churches as well as community centers gear up for the Fall semester's activities.
These are exciting times in which we live and I am thankful for the challenges and moments this summer to be a part of your lives through this letter.
Happy remaining days of summer and to your intentional decision to jump on in and enjoy family and friends

Please share our website with your friends and colleagues - - The ARKGROUP's WEB site can assist you now to get to the information you need. The ARKGROUP's website provides the information that you need , about the ARK (Adults Relating to Kids) Programs and Processes for Teachers and Schools, Parents and Others who would be Intentional in the lives of Kids, both faith based and secular. Visit our site today. ARK (Adults Relating to Kids) programs and processes are here to help.

Thanks for joining our thoughts and comments this summer through our newsletter.
I look to Mark Twain this month, a wonderful human being, humorists, writer and "an original American Icon" who wrote:
"It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others and less trouble"



Bill
William R. Duffy
National Executive Director
281-537-1301

Start these summer months to commit to renewal and growth with education and networking facilitated by the ARK Program DVDs: ARK for Teachers, ARK for Parents (Faith and Secular based), ARK Facilitator Training, The ARK Group Process and an Introduction to ARK hosted by Pat Summerall. Order yours today at www.thearkgroup.org. The ARK Program has excellent lessons, DVD's, manuals, workbooks, texts and advertising materials -- they will equip you to begin ARK programs today. ARK programs provide breakthrough parenting and teaching "skills courses." With your help, we can make ARKrelationships the norm for the 21st century family, church, school and community.

For our Friends and Followers , we have had outstanding record breaking participation through July with over 205 churches in the Dallas and Houston areas participating in our ARK for Parents - Church Programs . Facilitation training can be scheduled to fit your schedule. Thanks to a wonderful gifts by kind benefactors, we are able to provide ARK for Parents Programs to Dallas area churches and in Houston. The program includes facilitator training, lessons on DVDs, books, and a host of supporting materials and services. We invite you to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Contact us today by e-mail, letter or by telephone in Dallas at 817- 268-2100 or Houston at 281-537-1301 to reserve these programs for your church to enable your church family to become the parents and intentional adults in the lives of children that will change the world through your care

Researchers and The AKGROUP have spent decades studying what motivates children and can now say with a great deal of confidence what discipline methods can help and what one's provide little impact. Evidence based parenting from the work of Dr. Alan Kazdin at Yale Parenting Center and the work of The ARKGROUP, Houston, Texas, both have shown that: "screaming and shouting at children" will have little lasting impact on their behavior and character.

• Kids tune out reasoning and shouting equally
• Praise of the end result is often viewed with skepticism, while encouragement of their effort builds self- confidence to try withour fear of failure
• Spanking and other harsh punishments do stop bad behavior but only temporarily. Positive reinforcement works much better and longer.
• Discipline means to teach and is not the same as punishment which may only teach kids how to punish others.
• Discipline works best when it is immediate, mild and brief. Extended timeouts easily shift from regretting "bad behavior" to "resenting" parents.
• The punishment business is not effective. It leads to avoidance and escape.

Most parenting books still focus on eradicating bad behavior. At the ARKGROUP and in the studies conducted at Yale, empathy for other people leads the list of qualities that people need to successfully handle relationships at school, at work and in the family. Adults need to understand that children need to be encouraged and taught though example that their own feelings will be affcted by what they do, as well as the feelings of others. Myrna Shure author of "Raising a Thinking Child" encourages adults, " not to tell ther childen that they are fine or not to cry", but to empathize with thier children as the world comes to them with it's disappointments and calamities. In this way, children learn empathy by being empathized with. Children need support 24 X 7 not with praise about their successes, but with encouragement of their efforts. It is not whether their effort results in failures and successes. Failures can be fixed and successes last only as long as the moment. It is in the effort that the person is made, not in the wins.

At the ARKGROUP, we encourage parents and other intentional adults to focus on asking open ended questions, to encourage all efforts that result in imaginative ideas and creativity. Children need to be allowed to wrestle with problems and to experience delayed gratification... and to have fun with their time.

Examples of Opportunity experiences children need:

• Focus times on imaginaing more questions rather than on developing answers and solutions
• To hear the the questions; "Can you think of another way to solve the delima"
• Or, "Can you think of a different way to tell me what you want?"
• Or, a question my daughter uses a lot with her children when they would break into meltdowns of tears: " sweetheart, tell me with words ... what has you upset"

A closing thought: As you drive your kids to everywhere today, begin that trip and end it with those signs of love and laughter that will become their memories and personality of childhood. Sing a song together along the way, create a story with each child adding to the plot, find the mystery in the clouds and along the streets. These are stuff of love to your child. They will be the personality and "DNA" of care and love and lasting family times that never end. These are the lasting images they will carry with them as they carry on the human story with you in their minds.

We would like to hear your thoughts.

Write to us:

Dr. Brooks has pioneered today's important research and views on "resilient mindsets" As I have shared in prior newsletters, his work helps us to understand the key characteristics of a resilient person. Those mindsets include the capacity to learn from rather than feel defeated from mistakes and disappointments, to grow and care for relationships and contribute to the well being of others rather than to live a life of detachment and isolation and to live life understanding one's interests and passions rather than performing activities that bring little satisfaction or joy.

Rowling's address focused on "the benefits of failure and the crucial importance of imagination".
Like many of us in America, she grew up viewing her background as "impoverished" as we compare our dreams to our circumstances and long for the seemingly unattainable with passion. Again, for most of us and our children, the fear of failure to do that "unknown and uncertain thing" versus the fear of poverty drove Ms. Rowling early in her life. Her address, "What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure. Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it is fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, as poor as possible to be in modern Britain without being homeless.....I was the biggest failure I knew."

She went on to discuss many ideas in this area, and I recommend you read her entire address, but I love her summation: " ...so why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other that what I was, and began to direct all of my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me".

Rowlings indicated she gained from her failures. "I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies".
Does that "ring a bell" inside of you? .....Before I continue, thank you friends for my life's meaning.

Rowling next addressed her views on imagination and surprisingly, it was not a view that one would think having read all of her famous "Harry Potter" novels. For her, imagination is that mind capability that allowed her to focus on "empathy" and that focus became the driving spark of all her writings.

Jumping ahead in her commencement address and capturing the essence of Dr. Brooks comments: " Rowling described her work at Amnesty International and the impact it had on her to gain empathy for the sufferings of others." Her challenge: " for graduates to strive to comprehend the experience of others and to display courage to be compassionate and to provide aid for those in need. Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places. If you choose your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself in the lives of those who do not have the advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped to transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine the better."

You have the power to imagine the better.

There is imagination potential in every thought we share together with each other and our children. Our imagination is a gift that creates the wonders of opportunity and joy in existence. My thanks to Dr. Brooks and to Ms. J. K. Rowlings for their thoughtful and empowering signals in their writings and to the wonder of "Novels of Fiction" which put us in touch with our best selves.

Please share your ideas and read on...

Below is a listing of Ideas complied by TED which might spur you to tackle a project as you "Imagine the better" at your school, church and neighborhood.

• A hands on tutoring program for math and science
• Build a tutoring center of your own at home, neighborhood center or business
• Build modern media labs, invite professionals to volunteer and train
• Build a sustainable endowment for your neighborhood school
• Develop written instructions for a Chess after school program
• Create and make a Board Game available to your community
• Start a Read to Kids program
• Fix Up a local school or it's play area
• Set up a free financial planning assistance program for your community
• Give free Linux computers to kids and classrooms

• Start a Kids Health Club
• Help your local High School to develop a useful website
• Start a High School Intern program at your business
• Work with your schools to start a Company/Teacher program
• Revive a School ART's Program
• Start a School Garden
• Volunteer to teach a creative writing class after school, an art class, a poetry club....
• Become a sponsor for the school graduation events, prom, etc.
• Develop a tie between your High School and a local College

As you think and "imagine the better", don't be overwhelmed. Take your imagination a step at a time.
Dream about that idea.
Write your first thoughts down.
Talk about those ideas with your friends and neighbors.
Identify people who can help.
Come Up with a Plan.
Carry the heavier load.
Get everyone involved.
Begin with the first step.

Document your actions and share it with us, so we can share with others.

Check out the following for ideas on How to Get Involved in Your Local School

Your support of The ARKGroup, Inc. creates possibilities in our churches, community centers, and public and private schools. If you have an opportunity, idea, challenge, or destiny to fulfill through helping children to grow into their full potential, please contact us. Together we can improve the quality of life in our communities--one child, one family, one classroom, one school at a time. Helping other people lifts one's spirits and gives hope for the future.

GoodSearch - a way to support ARK while using the Internet. You can contribute to the ARKGROUP which we will invest in your favorite community services, church, juvenile justice program or school just by searching the Internet or shopping online with GoodSearch - www.goodsearch.com - powered by Yahoo!

Read on at the ARK website