While walking around an old pond this morning, I came to realize that April showers truly do bring May flowers. I calculate that I witnessed at least 30 little "munchkins" discovering the wonder of smells in fresh picked blackeyed susans, wild roses and other blooms of mystery. Life offers us many glimpses of the beauty of creation which fills the heart with joy and wonder. Why not take that walk yourself down your neighborhood street to enjoy the sweetness of Spring before the summer heat begins?

"Greatness truly lies not in a single act or attitude,
But in the total of one's existence in how one lives one's life.
Greatness is not a goal, an end, the reaching of a static state.
It's how we make the journey, the sum of all we've done."

We hope that you will share our website (www.thearkgroup.org) with your friends and colleagues. The ARKGroup's website can assist you in obtaining any information you need (faith-based and secular) about the Adults Relating to Kids' programs and processes for teachers and schools, parents and others, who would be intentional in enhancing the lives of children. Visit our site today at www.thearkgroup.org!

And, by the way, you know that we depend on your generousity to provide our programming to the various venues in which ARK is being implemented. Your wonderful contributions can be sent to The ARKGroup at 2611 FM 1960 West, Suite H-201, Houston, TX 77068. Together, we can make a real difference in the lives of our children and students. Thanks be to you all!

Bill
William R. Duffy
National Executive Director
281- 537- 1301

Research shows that, contrary to popular belief, " genius is not the product of a divine spark." "Relationships and rigor" actually play a more significant role than our intellectual DNA in helping us and our children to realize our potential.
David illustrates the latest findings with people like Dante, Mozart and Einstein. He goes on to show that Mozart was a good musician at an early age, but he would not stand out among today's top child performers. What Mozart had, we now believe, was the same thing Tiger Woods has - the ability to focus for long periods of time and a father intent on improving his skills. Also, Mozart and Wood's knew their father loved them unconditionally. Mozart and Tiger played a lot of piano and golf at a very young age, so they both got their 10,000 hours of practice rigor in early and then built from there.

The latest research suggests a more prosaic, democratic and even pursuit of happiness view of the world. The key factors separating geniuses from the merely accomplished is not a divine spark, cultural heritage or gene pool. It is not IQ, a generally bad predictor of success, even in business, sports and chess. Instead it is deliberate practice and relationships of trust and care that provide the foundations for a life well lived. Top performers spend many more hours rigorously practicing their craft. And, they typically are accompanied on their journey by a caring adult who loves them, helps them, and commits to spending time with them.

David Brooks illustrates: "If you want to picture how a typical genius might develop, you take a young girl or boy who possessed a slightly above average verbal skill. Just enough that they gain a sense of distinction of this skill from their parents, neighbor or teacher. One of those adults introduces her to a novelist which gives this child a vision of the future. A circle she might join in pursuit of her happiness. Armed with this interest she reads novels, poems and gains insights into what they are, do and how. Then he practices writing and gets all kinds of feedback, slow painstaking full of errors and right and wrong turns."

Researchers point out: "The mind wants to turn deliberate, newly learned skills into unconscious, automatically performed skills. But the mind is sloppy and will settle for good enough. But by practicing slowly, by breaking skills down into tiny parts, the student forces the brain to internalize a better pattern of performances. Our young student locks onto an intentional adult, who mentors, wo loves, who encourages efforts versus the end results, and who provides a constant stream of feedback--correcting small errors and encouraging tougher challenges."

The primary trait he or she posses is not some mysterious genius. It is the ability through parents, teachers, and neighbors to develop a deliberate, strenuous practice routine.

We at the ARKGroup investigate current research and explore new techniques that help teachers, parents, neighbors , grandparents and all intentional adults to take the magic out of great achievement. We invite public discussion to remove the genetics and hard-wired myths from our children and students.

While it is true that genes place a "potential limiter" on our capacities, for the majority of our total population, the brain is phenomenally plastic. Intellectual growth in young people is guided and enhanced by caring adults who are intentionally present in the lives of their children and students. Love your children and students for who they are, and at the same time encourage them to practice those things that your family values as just, decent ,and reasonable and that are capable of helping your children take their place as contributing members of our community.

Check out our Dr. Brooks Website this month for an excellent article on "judging others by their appearance."

Youngsters are bombarded with information on ways to live model lives; and sadly, most of that information is based only on "performance and accomplishments." One of the purposes of ARKGroups is to help parents to focus on a few strategies to send the right messages to kids. Kids need to encouraged to be responsible for their own lives.

Some strategies to consider as you build a sense of responsibility in your children and students:

• Set boundaries and enforce them.
• Agree on rules and consequences in advance in place them in writing.
  Then stick to your guns--no caving in! For example, "if you are not in bed by 8:30, you don't get a story." There must be consequences for inappropriate behavior, and you have to follow through in administering those consequences.
• Focus on encouragement rather than praise.
  There is an important difference between encouragement and praise. Encouragement focuses on the child's efforts while praise focuses on the end results. Praise can be damaging to a child's self-esteem because he may come to believe that he has value only if he "wins" or succeeds. Praise can quickly become a detriment to taking risks because of the child's fear that, if he fails, he will not be accepted. "Better to do nothing than risk a failure" can become his mindset. Encouragement, on the other hand, enhances a child's sense of self- esteem. Encouraging the effort lets the child focus on how he has applied him or herself and not just on winning.
• Let kids make mistakes.
  Kids need to be able make mistakes, experience the consequences, then get the chance to make a different decision. Parent and teacher roles are to create safe choices for mistakes to be made in safe environments.
• Talk and listen.
  Consider having a minimum of one 30-minute family meeting each week with children included in the group discussion, talking about what went well and what could be changed. These meetings not only teach listening and speaking skills but also let children participae in group problem- solving. My own daughter and her husband, spend 20 minutes each night at bed time letting each child describe their story of the day and to reflect on how they feel about it. They fall a sleep each night dreaming of their day's events.
• Give kids choices and rewards.
  Chores do help children learn their contributions make a difference for others in the family and in the world. Giving children a chance to earn money teaches accountability. But keep it simple. Excessive payments are a mistake.

Thanks for the really good job that you do each day at the most difficult job in the world, raising and loving our children and students. You are making the critical difference in their "vision" and their understanding of their "significance, importance and wonderful value" as they move through childhood and adolescence..

Some steps parents can take to address bullying issues are as follows:

• Being active in your schools activities. Speak with teachers and staff and spend some time in the classroom.
• Acting as a role model to your children by settling your own conflicts respectfully, peacefully and without hostility.
• Listening and speaking to your children daily, reviewing what is happening in their day. Listen for friends they want to avoid and small problems that can signal bullying.

How do you know if your child is a victim? There are several warning signs that indicate a child is being bullied:

• Coming home with torn, dirty or ripped clothing.
• Having unexplained cuts and bruises.
• Having few friends or a sudden change in friendships.
• Any signal that they do not want to go to school or a new fear.
• Having difficulty sleeping.

How can you recognize if your child is the one doing the bullying? Although each child is different, those who bully others often share certain behaviors, including the following:

• Being impulsive, hot-headed, or dominant.
• Becoming easily frustrated.
• Lacking empathy.
• Having difficulty following rules.
• Viewing violence in a positive way.

Do Boys and Girls both bully? Yes, they do!

• As boys develop physically, they use their size or strength to intimidate.
• Girls use words and social abilities to intimidate.
• Both find ways to become exclusive and to exclude others from the group.

The ARKGroup philosophy is that our concept of self is not merely about our evolving ability to reason, but is more significantly a result of intentional relationships of care in the lives of kids. Children must learn to separate the person from their behavior and care for others, exactly as caring parents do with them. Moral attitudes from these emotional relationships help us all to grow into persons who do not need to bully or intimidate others in order to validate our own worth.

ARKParenting and ARK for Teachers programs help small-group networks of support to practice loving toolsets for problem-identification and resolution and to provide intentional, loving care in our parenting and teaching. They enable us adults to participate in significant moments of care-giving and allow us to focus on the lives of our children and students. ARK programs help teachers, mothers, and fathers to establish firm and consistent expectations about the things we know to be important while anchoring our children and students in love, warmth, support, and encouragement. We are convinced that there will be no more "bullying" if we can raise one generation of kids with that kind of intentional parenting and teaching.

The ARKGroup would like to challenge you to be in intentional in your relationship with kids. We wish for you relationships of significance, meaning and joy in your journey to be the best parent, teacher, grandparent, and or neighbor as a caring adult in the lives of our nation's children.

To find out about facilitating an ARK Program in your area, give us a CALL! We can make a difference in our schools, neighborhoods and families. We can be a convergent force for the good, the beautiful and the true that resides in each of us.

ARK is always aware of organizations which want to incorporate the ARK experience in their programs but who need financial assistance to do so. Even public schools frequently don't have the resources that will allow them to offer their students the life- changing benefits of ARK. DID YOU KNOW THAT ...your gift of $100. will introduce ARK to a school, United Way supported agency, neighborhood center or church?... that your donation of $1,000. will provide ARK programming for an entire school?...that your contribution of $10,000. will allow the ARKGroup to equip 10 schools within a school district to begin the ARK for Teachers and ARK for Parents programs?

GoodSearch - a way to support ARK while using the Internet. You can contribute to the ARKGroup so that we in turn might invest in your favorite community- service organization, church, juvenile justice program, or school--just by searching the Internet or shopping online with GoodSearch - www.goodsearch.com - powered by Yahoo!

Read on at the ARK website...

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try and the faith to believe it is possible" ...Richard Devos

• Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
• Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
• Name the last five winners of the Miss America title.
• Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
• Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners of best actor or actress.