Greetings, and A Happy Thanksgiving to you.

I had a wonderful experience recently attending the play "OUR TOWN" written by Thorton Wilder and produced by the Alley Theater in Houston. For those of you who have had the fortunate opportunity to read Mr. Wilder's many works, you may recall that he always had the ability to combine the minute details of everyday life in America with the infinite so that one sees the juxtaposition of "the life of a village against the life of the stars" in his works.

This play prompted my thinking about the commonplace experiences in my everyday life and in the lives of the parents and teachers who talk with me each day. Hidden in those conversations are dimensions that reach out to the infinite values of what we care most about in our lives. A teacher at Westfield High School in Spring ISD commented that "she was heart-broken and heart-warmed at the same time by campus news of one of her students who completed all the requirements for her class with excellent results, but had just lost his closest friend in a neighborhood criminal incident".

What is trivial and what is significant in the happenings of a day can change instantly. Passing one's class requirements compared to the loss of a dear friend.... Those sort of events are powerful, intense sources of emotional confusion and distress in the lives of our children. Teachers and parents--and the relationships they have with their young people--can provide the faith, understanding, and unconditional care that allow young people to experience a sense of hope and, when confronted by tragic circumstances, to believe in the ultimate goodness of life.

We are blessed to live in country which has so many of you parents and teachers--at Headstart Centers and at elementary, middle, and high schools, neighborhood centers, churches and forums on your individual blocks and apartments--who, on a daily basis, constitute the "best hearts" in Texas for impacting those who need our care. I am humbled to learn how many of you are living your lives each day caring for others, teaching and practicing efforts that make a huge difference in the lives of kids. Your actions help to grow our future and the future of our children's perception that "they live in a world safe with your care for their dreams, wishes and hopes for the world." Your unconditional love and caring are in my Thanksgiving thoughts this season.

I am especially thankful and humbled this Thanksgiving by your participation in our ARK programs. Your intentional belief and faith in young people are helping to create a world of creative, imaginative, and caring children. What a difference you are making!

Bill
William R. Duffy
National Executive Director
281-537-1301

WE TRUST THAT YOU ENJOY READING ABOUT THE MANY WAYS ARK IS CHANGING LIVES FOR THE BETTER AND HOPE YOU CONTINUE YOUR VERY VITAL SUPPORT!

"While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writiing the report. "Well, my mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Okay, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

Be conscientious and persistent in letting your child know how much you unconditionally love and care for her. Realize that, from time to time, your child may bring negative feelings (confusion, resentment, etc.) into your home that really have nothing to do with your and his relationship. Remember that you are the adult! It is your responsibility to extend the consistent love, empathy, and forgiveness that are the cornerstones of all great relationships.

For further insights on how divorcing parents can separate in a manner that allows a child to feel emotionally "safe," go to www.thearkgroup.org and enroll in the outstanding, court- approved, course, "ARK FOR DIVORCING PARENTS".

Share with us your suggestions of hope and encouragement, and we will pass them on to others.

• A recent study suggests that parents of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are almost twice as likely as other parents to divorce by the time the child is eight years old.
• An ADHD child's disruptive behavior doesn't in itself cause the dissolution of a marriage, but it can add fire to a situation where marital conflict already exists.
• If parents with an ADHD child can keep their marriage intact, the divorce rate does not continue to be higher after the child reaches age eight. (Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, October, 2008)

One of the greatest boons to healthy marriages is the realization that "Our situation is not unique. Other couples' difficulities are similar to our own. And, if their marriage can survive the disruptions posed by an ADHD child, so can ours!" ARK for Parents groups are a wonderful venue for helping parents to see that they are not alone. ARK groups enable couples to share their frustrations, to get ideas from others whose situation is similar to theirs, and to covenant with one another that they will lovingly "stay the course" together.

As Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, "The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is laziness. Real love is hard work." To those parents with an ADHD child, if you persevere in your love and commitment to one another and to your child, your family will know the meaning of the words "loyalty," "trust," and "joy" to an extent that few others will ever access. Take heart--the best is yet to come!

Check out one of our HeadStart Early HeadStart Collaboratives - Avance. You will be glad you did.

As I read the article, I found myself playing with the term "without dad."
What do the words "without dad" really mean? Does it mean "Dad," the biological father? Or, does it mean "Dad" living in the family, but who spends all his day away from the child and really never participates in the child-father relationship?

It seems to me that "Dad" ought to be all of us males who spend each day making sure that we are the "difference" for those kids around us. Neighborhood kids, nephews, nieces, our own, how can there be brains growing here without dad?

You really should read the article for yourself.

Just musing...
Bill

We encourage you to commit to renewal and growth with education and networking facilitated by the ARK Program DVDs: ARK for Teachers, ARK for Parents (faith-based and secular), ARK Facilitator Training, The ARK Group Process and an Introduction to ARK hosted by Pat Summerall. Order today at www.thearkgroup.org. The ARK Program has excellent lessons, DVD's, manuals, workbooks, texts and materials. They will equip you to provide life-changing ARK programs including breakthrough parenting and teaching "skills courses." With your help, we can make ARKRelationships the norm for the 21st century family, church, school and community.

Check out Liveunited.org now for even more insights regarding what can become possible when we get serious about assuring a basic education to all.