Batann Community Center of West Dallas

The Bataan Community Center has hosted a "La Superación  Personal" series (Personal Improvement) to discuss topics such as setting personal short-ranged and long-range goals, women's health issues, and learning to forgive yourself and others.  The ARK program was invited to share with the women participants and the ARK Group lessons that were presented were: (1) Giving Unconditional Love, (2) Dealing with Anger, and (3) Creating a New Style of Parenting.  The ARK Covenants were said aloud in unison, and the Group Respect Agreements were followed during the Situation Circle sharing time.

The sharing time proved to be a wonderful opportunity for all the Spanish-speaking participants present.  It became a cohesive group in which the ladies felt comfortable and confident to share their concerns with each other.

The lesson on "Creating a New Style of Parenting" was of particularly interest for these women.  One described how close her family is - in contrast to that of her spouse whose family members do not communicate.  This occurred because his parents were ultra strict and not emotionally expressive.  The result was that the children  of these parents, now in their fifties, were still distant to their parents.  A second experience related by another mom, was that she and her twin were last spanked at age 22 for going to a party they were forbidden to attend.  Although they were young adults, their father did not acknowledge their adulthood.  A third participant told the group of her childhood during which she was expected to get down on her knees and kiss her godfather's hand.  All three experiences demonstrated to everyone that they all truly desired a change - to now have a close, loving relationship based on unconditional love with their children.  The discussion continued to include the caution of going from one extreme to the other, and the group was in agreement of disciplining their children with necessary rules and limitations in a respectful manner as opposed to just administering strict corporal punishment for misbehavior which in essence had no life lesson.

Evolutionists long ago abandoned the idea that natural selection can promote only selfish behavior. In the right circumstances, all human beings evolve with the instinct to be nice (or acquire niceness through cultural evolution). This happens when families but also within groups (neighborhoods, teacher groups, parent groups) where social solidarity promotes the success of the group as a core value. David Sloan Wilson, author of "The Neighborhood Project" is also a champion of this kind of group selection.  He has found that most prosocial kids receive the most social support. In other words, "humans give what they get and get what they give". In David's research, "people who are bathed in social support from family, neighborhood, school, religion and extracurricular activities tend to score highly on questions about how much they help other people.

It seems to me that these people of research are saying, "If we give social support, we will create a better neighborhood, school, family, and network of care."

The ARKGROUP process helps us to practice a culture of care and support. It makes possible the dreams and aspirations we expect in living lives of meaning and significance. Please check out David Sloan Wilson's book for your on insight.

I encourage you to act today intentionally to become the care the world needs to become the world and people we know ourselves to be...