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A comprehensive education program in the state of Texas requires a safe and nurturing environment for the children who attend our public schools. In order to facilitate this development, parents and educators must understand (1) the proliferation of violence and self-destructive behavior among today’s children and youth, (2) self-esteem and its role in the prevention of violence, (3) the new brain research and our children’s need for nurture, and (4) the role of the nurturing adult in preventing violence.
The state and people of Texas face an unprecedented crisis and challenge with regard to the safety and well-being of the children in our public schools. The following facts demonstrate the depth of the crisis among American young people (California Senate Bill 1667):
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One hundred sixty thousand children miss school daily due to fear of attack or peer intimidation.
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Twenty-four percent of high school pupils say they took a weapon to school at least once in the past year.
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Seventy-three percent of youngsters 10 to 18 years of age hit someone during the year because of anger.
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Every 17 seconds in the United States a child is arrested; children in the United States are 10 times more likely to commit murder than comparably aged youths in Canada.
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In 10 years, juvenile theft has increased 22 percent. Almost half of middle and high school pupils admitted stealing from a store during the year; 25 percent said they did so at least twice.
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Adolescent suicide has increased 400 percent in 30 years. The United States has the highest youth homicide and suicide rates among the 26 wealthiest nations in the world.
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One out of five fifth-graders has been drunk; two-thirds of eighth graders have used alcohol.
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Three million teenagers, about one in four of those sexually active, acquire a sexually transmitted disease every year.
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Since 1969, high school pupils' test cheating increased from 34 percent to 68 percent.
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Adolescent depression has increased 1,000 percent in 40 years.
Armed with a growing body of research and knowledge in regard to the root causes of the violence and turmoil in the lives of our young people, we must now address those problems and make our schools safe for all those present, children and adults alike.
Over the past decade, many negative perceptions have surfaced regarding the self-esteem movement. It has been characterized as ineffectual, shallow, and self-idolatrous. The new paradigm regarding self-esteem is research-based and provides a new model for understanding the nature of self-esteem and its importance in the emotional development of a child. Low self-esteem is the root cause of adolescent violence, drug abuse, sexual promiscuity, and gang activity. If a young person does not feel good about himself, he will “cave in” to the coercion of his peers in hopes of winning the approval and acceptance of others. Enabling young people to value themselves is society’s primary antidote to the epidemic of teenage anger and violence that currently grips our country.
In cooperation with the University of Texas School of Public Health (Houston), the Children’s Center for Self-Esteem, Inc. conducted ground-breaking research which provides a new paradigm for understanding how self-esteem is generated in children.1 This research shows the essential connection between a child’s sense of self-esteem and the quality of his relationships with the primary adults (parents, teachers, counselors, etc.) in his life. When a child is loved for who she is rather than for what she does, she is enabled to value herself in spite of her imperfections. This gift of unconditional love is an adult’s greatest contribution to the emotional well-being of a child. The resulting sense of high self-esteem gives a child the inner strength to deal with the negative peer pressure that leads to anti-social and self-destructive behavior. Adults who want to build self-esteem in their kids must therefore pay attention to the task of giving their children unconditional love. We use the word “task” because unconditional love sometimes will be hard work (and will require personal sacrifices of time and attention).
What is meant by the term “unconditional love”? It is neither a “warm-fuzzy” feeling nor a “soft,” sentimental emotion. Unconditional love is a conscious decision to relate to children in a certain way. Unconditional love… · separates the person from the behavior. · means loving a child for who she is rather than for what she does. · is not permissive; it encourages responsibility as well as freedom. Unconditional love means loving a child “no matter what.” It means saying to a young person, “I may not like what you are doing (and it is my responsibility to help you discipline your behavior), but you are my child (student), and I love (care about) you. Furthermore, there is nothing you can ever do to keep me from loving (caring about) you.” For years, self-esteem researchers have used the terms “self-worth” and “self-esteem” interchangeably. Our research indicates that the way a child views himself is his self-concept and that there are two very distinct components of a child’s self-concept: self–esteem which is fueled by unconditional love and self-worth which is fueled by performance. A child with high self-esteem feels valued for who he is. A child with high self-worth feels valued for what she does.
The research shows that self-esteem is TWICE as important as self-worth in its contributions to a child’s concept of self. Self-Concept (1/3) (2/3) Self-Worth Self-Esteem (fueled by performance) (fueled by unconditional love) Most of the emphasis in the classroom is upon performance. As a result, children feel that others value them based upon what they do and that they are only as worthwhile as their latest achievement. The desperate need of children in our society today is to feel valued for who they are. When this need is met, children acquire the high self-esteem that minimizes the possibility of violent, “acting out” behavior. The results of this research not only helps us to understand the nature and origins of self-esteem in children, it also provides valuable insights in regard to curtailing violent behavior in our schools. The campaign to eliminate school violence, up to this point, has been largely ineffective because it has focused upon the violence itself rather than addressing the needs of the perpetrator of the violence. Money and resources thrown in this direction are, in effect, wasted. Additional security persons, drug dogs, and metal detectors will not prevent a shooter from wreaking havoc and devastation upon a campus. We must instead address the root causes of violence in children--the feelings of alienation and low self-esteem that are the precursors to hidden anger and overt rage. The primary task in creating a violence-free school is for teachers to provide a nurturing classroom environment in which every student feels valued and esteemed.
Current brain-research supports the thesis that a nurturing classroom environment is an absolute requirement in preventing hostile, “acting out” behavior in the classroom. Dr. Paul MacLean is the head of the Brain Evolution and Behavior Department of the (U.S.) National Institute of Mental Health. He has done some fascinating work on the "triune brain concept," a view of the brain as being composed of three distinct parts: the brain stem, the limbic system, and the neocortex.
The brain develops, in order, from the least complex part, the brain stem, to the most complex part, the top layer of the brain that comprises the neocortex.2 · The brain stem is located at the base of the brain. It is in charge of the "involuntary" brain functions--those basic bodily functions that we don't have to think about. It controls such things as breathing, heart rate, swallowing, body temperature, blood pressure, sweating, and digestion. The brain stem acts rather than thinks. It is the part of the brain that allowed our caveman ancestors to survive when they saw a saber-toothed tiger by fighting or running away--an instinct referred to as the "fight or flight" response. The brain stem operates on instinct and is our “acting" brain.3 · The limbic system is the second part of the brain to develop. It is in charge of more complicated activities--like memory functions and emotional behavior. All of our emotions--such as fear, love, hate, aggression, etc.--emanate from the limbic system. It is our "emotional" brain.4 · The third part of the brain is the neocortex. It is our rational, or "thinking," brain. It performs the higher brain functions, allowing us to deal with symbols and concepts such as letters and numbers. This part of the brain also lets us understand language and provides the capacity to reason. When we teach something to a child, we are engaging his neocortex.5
When operating in a warm, affirming environment, the neocortex is a marvelous learning device. However, Dr. MacLean's research shows that, whenever the neocortex perceives a situation to be threatening, it ceases to function properly. It shuts down and "downshifts" to the faster-acting, simpler brain resources in the limbic system. Simply put, the “thinking brain” quits working, and the “emotional brain” takes over. This process is called “downshifting.” Therefore, if a child experiences fear or feels threatened, he will cease to think in a rational way and will become emotional. He may express anger or hostility, or he may simply withdraw and become very quiet. And, if the threat is severe enough, the limbic system will also shut down and "downshift" all brain functions to the brain stem.6 The child then will feel he has to take action in order to survive. He will feel compelled either to fight or to run away from the perceived threat.
Violence in the classroom is the product of downshifting to the limbic system and the brain stem. Fear is the primary culprit in this downshifting process. Fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of being ridiculed, and undue anxiety over poor performance are all emotions which result in downshifting. Fear-induced hostility and threats switch off the neocortex and make learning difficult. In order that the neocortex remain activated, it is critical that a child be made to feel loved and valued in spite of her misbehavior and mistakes. The key to this process lies in our learning how to discipline the behavior while still affirming the worth of the child. If a child perceives the classroom to be hostile and uncaring, he or she will react with hostile, potentially violent behavior. Enabling teachers to develop a nurturing classroom environment not only is essential to the learning process,7 it is also the primary factor in compelling orderly, respectful behavior in the classroom. A child will not shoot a teacher or students that he feels cares about him.
IV. The Role of the Nurturing Adult in Preventing Violence
For too long, parents and teachers have blamed each other for the noxious behavior of the children entrusted to their care. It is time that the two groups become supportive of each other’s efforts to make a qualitative difference in the lives of our children. This alliance is crucial. Teachers and parents must begin partnering to develop strategies that enable children to feel valued and loved. The result will be higher test scores and less disruptive and violent behavior. If a child receives unconditional respect and regard from at least one (and hopefully all) of the adults who are important in his life, it will alleviate feelings of alienation and rage. As Dr. Robert Brooks, clinical psychologist with Harvard Medical School, contends, the key element in alleviating violence in our schools is to help each child to feel “connected” to a caring adult--a person whom the child feels will “be in my corner no matter what!”8
The issue is important enough to warrant state legislative directives for certain parenting and teaching skills courses. These directives should include the following proposals:
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Every state college and university will offer mandatory, research-based classes to prospective teachers on developing a nurturing classroom environment.
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In the parental involvement portion of its campus improvement plan, each local school will provide research-based training and/or courses for parents on how to develop nurturing relationships with their children. Five hundred thousand dollars is to be allocated for “first start” programs in pilot schools.
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In its campus improvement plan, each local school will require teachers to attend a monthly research-based session on creating and maintaining a nurturing classroom environment. Five hundred thousand dollars is to be allocated for “first start” programs in pilot schools.
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Schools will encourage parents and teachers to meet together to develop partnerships that provide a supportive learning environment for their children and students.
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Schools will provide research-based parenting classes for teen mothers and pregnant teens which will include information and materials on giving nurture and emotional support to their children. Five hundred thousand dollars is to be allocated for “first start” programs in pilot schools.
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Schools will provide community leadership in encouraging parents, schools, hospitals, churches, and other community institutions to create partnerships that will provide for the nurture of each and every child within the community.
The need for nurture is ubiquitous in the lives of our children. As one teen killer was quoted in a Newsweek article, “I had rather be wanted for murder than not wanted at all.” As we adults become intentional about loving and nurturing our children, we will elevate their self-esteem and curtail the rage that leads to adolescent violence.
Footnotes:
1 Wilkerson, Glenn. Self-Esteem Today, Mid-Winter Issue, 1995, pp. 10-11.
2 “The Triune Brain—Understanding Emotional Memory,” p. 1.
3 “Whole Brain Learning,” p. 1.
4 “Whole Brain Learning”, p. 1.
5 “Whole Brain Learning,” p. 2.
6 “Whole Brain Learning,” p. 2.
7 Drs. William Glasser (The Quality School Teacher, HarperPerennial, 1993, p. 22) and Ruby Payne (Poverty: A Framework for Understanding and Working with Adults and Students from Poverty, RFT Publishing, 1995, p. 3.) both contend that no significant learning takes place without a nurturing relationship between the teacher and the student.
8 Sullivan, Robert, “What Makes a Child Resilient?” Time Magazine, March 9, 2001, p. 35.
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